Horizone: Hey, losers.

Obviously not much has happened, unlike I said in the last journal.  OH WELL.

My lovely laptop crapped out on me almost a month ago, and I've been subsisting on an ancient desktop in my upstairs room for what *seems* like FOREVER.

I forgot my deviantArt password.  That was one problem that's kept me off the site for so long.  Plus I honestly had gotten rather bored of this site and spent a lot of my time on my tumblr.  Follow me, mis queridas putas: blank-page-emperor.tumblr.com/

ANYWAY, I've got a few short blurbs and two proper short stories to share from this semester, which is JUUUUUUST about over.  Things got complicated and I ended up not having the kind of free time I thought I would, but with summer almost here I'll have just a WEEEEE bit more, although it's going to be busy, too. D:

I've been reading a lot lately, and aside from being back at the Horror game again, I highly, highly recommend Christopher Krovatin's Venomous, this sort of wacky angsty Young Adult Semi-Superhero Pseudomagical Transgressive...  thing.  www.amazon.com/Venomous-Christ… had its problems, but it to me was a great example of flawed-by-effective fiction that I think a lot of people should hold themselves to.  I've been forced to read a lot of mediocre fiction in both my researching narrative techniques as an author and just each week in my senior seminar on fiction writing, and Venomous was a really nice, passionate step outside of all that.  Lots of smoking and naughty language and sexiness about it.

Basic Synopsis if your browser's slow:  Basically there's this sort of outsider kid, Locke, who has an incredible anger problem that he calls "the Venom," and it's kept him from having meaningful relationships with just about everybody but his immediate family.  He finally takes a step to the outside and starts meeting kids who aren't mainstream and finally accept him.  What doesn't change, though, is his problem with anger, now that he finally finds himself with real stakes at risk in his life.

I bring it up because I've been a pretty angry dude the last few years, and lately I've found myself more and more having to just decide to NOT.  GET.  ANGRY. and just deal with things, and I think I really identified with that book because of this.

Some really lame things happened to me lately (and were done by me lately) because although I try not to be angry, I still have certain people who I get angry at very, very easily because of my past experiences with them, and I know I've hurt and scared away a few of them (even if my anger was somewhat justified, it still was highly unnecessary.)  I really screwed up a relationship that was very, very important to me, and now I'm just having to worry about the possibility of patching it up again, if that's possible.

Anyway, I'm just blabbing about this because it's been a stressful last few weeks, and that's hurt my productivity and creativity alike while I've been trying to get ready for my finals (one down, one to go, yay!) and I just wanted to talk about it.

I promised a lot at the beginning of this year, and I didn't deliver, and while I've done that before, it's discouraging to me to know that I say things and then forget about carrying them out, especially because I don't usually say things that I don't mean.  In my defense, the past month has been WORTHLESS as far as free time and creativity go, but I think the rest of this year has been a waste, for the most part.

I'm frustrated because I'm over most of my dumb traumatastic emo-ness from the last few years, but now I'm still not fulfilling as many promises as I'm making.  I guess everyone's like that, but these are things that I've meant to do for some time now, and just haven't.

I *have* been trying to do some planning for some new novel projects that I FINALLY feel comfortable committing to, but again, not much to show there.  At least it's something.

Anyway, whine over, fiction soon.